#(im sorry for being delusional………………………………)

[jjjjeonww]

so…! i’ve made a decision. after everything i’ve been going through irl, i’m going to quit tumblr. i know this may seem sudden; and that you think “oh! but you seem fine yuna!” but i’m actually not fine. i’ve been going through a lot silently (for years now, since like the age of 10-12..) and i don’t think tumblr will help me with my mental health. yes; it’s my safe space, somewhere i would go to when no one was there for me. but now, i think i need to face the real challenges, i can’t have tumblr being my safe space anymore. please know that i still love my 181 followers. each and every single one of you are so special to me.

to my mutuals, you all have done so much for me, and i’m grateful for that. i’m grateful for whatever tumblr has given and granted me. i’m sorry that i’m leaving - though i don’t think anybody would really be affected by my leaving - i still apologize. i hope that maybe one day, just one day, i can come back. come back to this, come back to the love i’ve been getting.

to: @gyubakeries

tiya, you were my first mutual here, and i remember how you greeted me with open arms and such kindness, and i’ll remember that forever my fav gyuldaengie🤍 and i guess i’ll not be seeing that woozi fic, sigh. it’ll be in my heart though, and you’ll be in my heart too.

to: @96z

naya!! im not sure if you’ll see this but when i went to the waterpark - nothing leaked, your advice worked <3 i love you for that, i love you always🩵

to: @kwonienana

my make out sesh partner!! my nana!! i’m sad i wont see the 3rd part to unsent!woozi, but i’ll imagine that reader n him have a good ending. i love you so so so so much, please remember that my delusional-texted-hoshi-on-insta-girl💋

to: @jooyeonsvape

amb, my favourite jooyeon stan, i was so glad to have met another villain on tumblr. and i was glad it was someone so sweet and so kind. i love your fics, every one of them, and i love you. ❤️

to: @studioeisa

kae, my favourite 8star!! i have always loved every single one of your works, and i’m glad that i met a carat-villain, even glader (thats not a word but) that it was you. you were so kind to me, so sweet, so loving. i think now, whenever i see gunil, i’ll think of you. 💚

to: @antoncore

cee!! i loved discussing and talking to you about … riize’s … sizes…💜 (hey that rhymes!) when i first met you, i had no idea that you were secretly this freaky, and to think that you r so cute😭 (personality n looks!) i love you my favourite anton stan💕

to: @chenlezip

anna! my cutie, the woozi fic you wrote for me - i loved it so much. i think i’ve read it daily this week, i’ll never forget it, and i will never ever forget you my darling🤍 (and the jaem series bc WTF I LOVED IT SMM)

to: @seokminfilm

LYR!!! i guess i’m never getting that down bad seok fic huh?? hehe - it’s fine. i just loved talking to you about it, and i thank you once again, for making me one of the main characters in your fic, and a thank you for making mingyu down bad in that fic🤭 i love u my lyric🩶

to: @wonkierideul

this… this one was really hard to write. nini, out of all of my moots - i have to say you’re my favourite. i’m sorry to all the others, but you have a special place in my heart. you’ll always have a special place in my heart. i’m sorry we never got to vc properly, i’m sorry for all the things i’ve done that have pissed you off. i’m sorry, for leaving you. i’ll see you when i see junhui. and, when i see soonhoon, i’ll smile, but feel a pain in my heart, knowing that was once us, not anymore though.

to: @starstrawb

my silly squirrel, i thank you for all of the kind words you’ve said to me, i thank you for all of the good morning and good night messages, all of the ‘checking up on you’ messages. i thank you for everything, the love, the adoration, everything that you’ve given me. i’m sorry i couldn’t give you the same kind of love, but just know i tried my absolute best. 🐿️

to: @kissbyoon

another one that was hard to write. liza, the jeonghan who loves to annoy the woozi, i loved getting annoyed by you, i always did. i loved every single moment with you, even your most delusional ones. i hope you know that i love you. i hope you know that sadly - i’ll not be coming back. maybe i will. maybe i wont. most likely i wont. i’m sorry to say i wont be coming back like how jeonghan is. and please lili, dont wait for me like you’re waiting for jeonghan and wonwoo. it pains me to know that.

to: @gyuwrites

for some reason, we started off as mutuals who just followed each-other, then a stupid anon came in and ruined my chances of actually getting to know you. that’s one of my biggest regrets. maybe in another life we could meet again, and start off good that time. thank you for your support ashley. 💙

to: @noircheols

seilah, thank you for yapping to me, thank you for trusting me with your rants. and just overall, thank you for trusting me. i’ll remember our little yap sessions, where we talked shit, where we vented, where we just… yapped together. it felt right. but me leaving you? it doesn’t. i hope you get a job soon, just know i’ll always be praying for you. 🖤

to: @vernons-wifey12

renee, thank you for the daily horanghaes, i think you were my first ever dolly stan, apart from @/rosiemain and @/seokminfilm. i really enjoyed the time when we were enjoying eachother’s virtual presence, i love you my vernon💗

to: @rosiemain

my roro, i’ll miss you so much. if i could give you a hug, i really would. but for now - does a virtual hug work? 🫂. you’re my favourite woozidan, my absolute favourite. i once said i would never want to find another woozidan ( to @/hanniescookie ) but i’m glad i have. i’m sorry our time of friendship together was so short. i’m rooting you get your boy, and i hope ‘🦢’ gets run over by a truck. i love you forevermore my girl.

to: @hanniescookie

and yet, another hard one. augustine. oh, i didn’t know leaving you would be this hard. i don’t know. i don’t know what i would do without you. your words were the main reason i kept going. no actually, YOU were the main reason i kept going. no matter how fat i felt, how insecure i was, your words broke through them. and you broke down the wall i had built just to get closer to me, i’m sorry to say that now, the wall has been renewed, and there’s no way to destroy it now. i’ll love you my jeonghan to my wonwoo. and i’ll remember you, always and forever.

to: @seokmn

and yet another moot who i have barely gotten to know. thank you for reblogging my jiung smau <3 i hope you can find a boyfie that’s just like loser boy jiung hehe 🐍

to: @honeyhae-svt

미안해, 아내야. 이렇게 일찍 떠나서 미안해. 우리가 서로에게 보낸 음성 메모가 즐거웠어요 ㅎㅎ . 그리울거야. 진짜. 사랑해요. 정말 많이. 나를 잊지마 내 예쁜 소녀야 ㅋㅋㅋㅋ 사랑해☹️💓

to: @dokyumms

my texas girlie, pls pls pls think of me when someone mentions young sheldon🤓🤓 but really, legit thank you for becoming moots with me, it was such an honour!! i’ll never forget you. never. this - i swear. i love u lovie💖

to: @kyeomviiee

oh my sweet sweet kae. thank you for all the moodboards you have made me. i hope your break is going well, i hope u think of me hehe😛 but really, take good rest love, i’ll be by your side, just think i’m there with you. 💞

to: @polarisjisung

another moot who i wanted to get to know but sadly did not. thank you for following me, i have no idea why you!! hua!! would follow some one like me but hey i aint complaining <3 take good care of anna for me💜

to: @iamdkayyyyy

thank you for your playlist, and for the wonwoo fic, i really really loved both of it🤍 you are soo soo soo soo kind, and i really love you for that. thank you for everything soumaya🌹

let me take a breather.

and now - to the rest of the people who have supported me, thank you. for everything. literally everything. i love EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. OF. YOU. no matter what you’ve done to me. thank you for all the joy you’ve brought to me on tumblr.com !! my journey on here will be marked in my heart as my favourite journey.

thank you, and this is @jjjjeonww signing off. good night, good evening, good afternoon, and good morning to all of you.

(i’ve gotten questions about whether some people can still publish some works they have made for me and my answer is yes, you can still publish it.)

[ping-ski]

You mentioned an ex-wife for the sugar daddy au, what's up with that whole thing if you don't mind me asking??

(Also will this be an y/n au or not for context???)

ok ok so..! i call her ex-wife, literally just so i can make the "i miss my wife tails" joke but more accurately she's actually his ex-fiancée! now im trusting myself not to share too much because eventually i wanna write this all out:

This is a y/n au!! They have a tiny bit of established lore that I'm reusing from what was initially a separate au that I combined with the sugar daddy au 'cause why not? I've been meaning to share some doodles I have for them but I've had no time/motivation

Now, I'm waving my hand vaguely here for this next bit: Eclipse only got into sugaring/sugar dating AFTER he and his ex-fiancée broke things off for good. It wasn't on good terms and there wasn't much of a proper goodbye from either. He's grateful that Atlas was too young to understand it or know what was happening; with his ex-fiancée gone, Eclipse had to be both "mom" and "dad" for the kid.

Sugar dating, for Eclipse, is a means to scratch that itch for companionship and intimacy- even if only superficial. It makes the loneliness sting a bit less for him. Of course, he still desires to be in a genuine relationship! Though it doesn't help that when his personal feelings do get involved, he gets hurt every time.

By the time y/n comes into the picture, Eclipse will have been sugaring for a while.

AAA I FORGOT ABOUT THIS IN MY DRAFTS IM SO SORRY </3 i have a terrible habit of losing asks in my drafts because i try to answer these between jobs oof

[petorahs]

A morning only two are aware of...

"We're in no rush, and the day is still long. Won't you stay with me?" A moment is captured between Aventurine and his distinct lover with their guards down.

Truly, the stuff of dreams.

[shkika]

i just think murderous robots could fix everything that’s wrong with this world

nodnodnod

[head---ache]

I think all of the sonadow fankids should have a sleepover

[hauntingofhouses]

(concept art of young taigen - source ; art credit: @abigaillarson)

i cannot get over this concept art of young taigen. god.

just look at this angry bratty boy, too many feelings that he doesnt know what to do with! an abused 9 year old kid in poverty always playing with sticks in the dirt, obsessed with greatness and dreaming to escape his decrepit village—and he does!

he does escape. he runs away. this angry little boy, all claws and teeth and biting words uttered with a lisp, going on the run into a world he's never seen before until he makes his way to kyoto. and knowing him he probably forced his way in to be accepted by the dojo, growling and kicking even as he's thrown out, back into the streets, too stubborn to take no for an answer and never knowing when to give up.

taigen calls mizu a dog, weak, an orphan, a scrawny street urchin. but i can't help but think that he feels so bold to use those words because he had them spat at him too.

because taigen had the idea of "this is how the world is" beat into him from birth. he learned quickly that if you couldn't beat the world you could join it. but that meant losing your way, your values, your principles. and isn't that what true honour is? not just titles and status and glory?

we don't get to see what taigen, as a child surrounded by peers encouraging and goading him on, would've actually done if that meteor hadn't fallen right in front of them at that very moment. would he have really tried to throw that stone on mizu, killing her? we don't know.

but we do see what taigen (his true self, with no one around) does, when presented with the same opportunity. when mizu passes out in front of him, unconscious and near death, vulnerable, the path to restoring his honour lays itself out for him on a silver platter. and he wants to take it, wants to kill mizu, to claim what is his and return to kyoto and get back everything he'd worked tooth and nail for. he feels like it's what he should do. but he doesn't.

and later, again he is presented with the chance to betray mizu, likely offered by heiji shindo to get his rank reinstated within the shindo dojo. and again, taigen doesn't take it. he refuses. "stupidly loyal," fowler calls him later. loyal, like a dog.

because now, pulled away from the sneering looks and jeering words of people around him, telling him that this is what the world is, taigen had met ringo and mizu, two outcasts who refuse to follow a predetermined path to greatness. and so inside something blooms in him. something like hope. a chance to live in a world that doesn't kick you down every chance it gets, to live in a world where genuine kindness and and love and friendship and even weakness is possible, allowed to simply exist without fear.

because he'd been running away from the very idea of it the whole time. when he ran from kohama, he never looked back, never wanted to remember what it was like to be a child, afraid and hungry and angry and hurting, without the words to make sense of it, desperately wishing for something. something more. he doesn't know what. but he hears stories of great swordsmen and decides, yes, this must be it. this is what i want: glory, greatness. the twisted seed gets planted and thrives in this barren land.

and when he returns to kohama with mizu and ringo, he at last is forced to stop running. he must face the child within him again, and he tells that child to put down the stones in his hand, tells him to stop barking at anything that moves or looks at him wrong.

the child drops the stone, and taigen buys dumplings instead, gives them to mizu. the child within him, wide-eyed at the prospect of friendship, moves him to pick up a hammer and toss it to mizu. he's smiling inside even as he does it; giggling like a kid hiding a silly prank. as soon as mizu drops the hammer after him, he leaps at her, tackling her to the ground and they wrestle and laugh unbridled like two children playing while the adults aren't around to barge in and yell at them.

and then his gaze catches on mizu's lips, he stares into mizu's eyes, a sparkling blue, inviting like the open sea in good weather.

it's a man's desire that takes hold then, the child in him sinking away again, and he curses himself for it, because it ruins the moment.

everything goes to shit from there, and then it's back to being a man, back to putting on his grown-up's armour to play hero.

it fails. the shogun dies. fowler's beatings reopen all the wounds left by heiji shindo's torture. "honour is meaningless," mizu tells him. "nothing comes from being a samurai but death."

the words follow him, and he follows the words.

as everything burns down, he runs, leaving the fire behind him, and sees akemi, as well as the verdure of spring behind her, calling him. he does not hesitate then to hold his hand out to her, inviting her to come with him. "i don't want to be great," he says. "i just want to be happy."

what is happiness to him? perhaps he doesn't know it yet, or perhaps he does. but really, i believe happiness is what the child in him always wanted but never received. happiness is a home.

[evermoredeluxe]

also, on a serious note, it’s :’) that she made sure to include travis because she is truly so happy to align herself with him, have him be stand there as her family, co-host the literal royals with him, and it’s just sweet.

[tankgotstuckinthecircusgate]

my n1 guilty pleasure is thinkin that post m2 lauretta moved deeper into criminal after several years & ended up sentenced to jail somewhere in the middle of 1970s

[picture-me-in-the-trees]

look i know i may be a little (a lot) biased. but there are many many interactions between roy and jamie that cannot simply be explained by them being best buds. the ugly boy scene? so insane. jamie resting his hands right on roy’s hips when he teaches him to ride a bike?? absolutely wild. ROY LOOKING AT JAMIES LIPS NOT ONCE. NOT TWICE. BUT THREE TIMES. DURING THE JAMIE LOST HIS WINGS SCENE. roy talking about jamie?? all the time?? so much so that his like eight year old niece takes notice?? every single hug they have ever. HOW TIGHTLY ROY HUGS JAMIE. and who would i be if i didn’t mention THAT ROY KENT ALWAYS REMAINS. the poster being right next to keeleys AND on the same wall with other half naked women cannot be a coincidence. the fight in the season 3 finale?? gay as hell. the way roy’s shirt collar was pulled down? don’t get me started. anyway these guys are absolutely insane and so in love and i am sorry but i’m having so many thoughts rn.

these two have never been normal about each other and as you can see i have never not once been normal about them

[kibber-cat]

i’m siiiiiick :(

[theflyestwhiteboyofthemall]

anyone know if we have isolate harder tomorrow

[stellarmachine]

the hold mizu has on me is a different level of concerning. like im no stranger to fictional crushes, but the feelings i have for mizu is like nothing ive felt before. i need her to be Real

[vaniliens]

Hmmm the more I learn about osdd / other dissociative stuff like that the more im convinced i have it & that i dont have it ❤️

[yourworldiseternallycomplete]

god catholicism does such a fucking number on people jesus h christ

[alitgblog]

already liking that the characters are more than "the charismatic skater" and "the romantic musician" (sorry Jamal and Ryan) and I think it's probably bc they don't feel isolated from each other. like the guys have personalities that get along or clash with each other too and they show it, and it helps them feel realer than just liking the same girl or whatever

and like that's not to say they tried to give them dimensionality, like you learn about Elliot's quirks and Roberto's family and whatnot but saying something is like half of the journey. like it's cute Alex nerds out on building things but it's a whole other thing that he purposefully stays out of drama and therefore has a better relationship with Raf and also is making sure the guys don't get injured when they're jumping on the beds. like that sort of more dynamic thing is way more fun. meanwhile i couldn't tell you about any of the s6 guys' friendships other than things I've headcanoned and also marshall/ozzy (which is why I think I've started to grown to like marshall after the season is over)

[m3llowm1sh]

ANGELO TRAILER IF IT WAS COOLER AND BASED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(orig under the cut)